Showing posts with label yotch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yotch. Show all posts

Monday, December 31, 2007

Firing Tom Cruise Pics ( plus Tom's Placenta Dishes )


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A Custom-made Greeting Card made by Hallmark for Tom Cruise

Donald To Tom: You're Fired!

"Shitty actor with shitty movies."

Get the message, Tom?

Nobody Wants to Hire This Joke

This is sooo mean, but because it's Tom Cruise, it's soo funny it hurts!!!


Tom's Special Polenta's secret ingredient is...

...Katie's Placenta! Hmmm...vomit-inducing!
Tom Cruise's Placenta Polenta
""I'm going to eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there." - Tom Cruise, GQ Magazine


Tom Cruise's Placenta Polenta

2 cups polenta (not quick cooking---good things take time, like LOVVVE)
2 tsps salt (don't use Kosher salt---Jews are nice, but they're not Scientologists!)
8 cups water (preferably water that hasn't been placed near any anti-depressants. Those are so unnecessary.)
1 placenta (Mmmmm...wait'll you see the picture!)



(Aren't you drooling? I bet you're drooling.)

1. Bring water to a boil in a pot, add salt and then add polenta in a thin stream like the way Val Kilmer's hair streamed in Top Gun, not that I noticed the way his hair streamed but it's just a valid reference to help you understand your polenta pouring procedure. Dude, I'm really not gay--I just had a baby, for crying out loud, and I'm about to eat the placenta. Would a gay guy really eat a placenta? I don't think so, girlfriend!

2. Sniff the placenta. If it smells rotten, find another recently mothered Scientologist former star of Dawson's Creek and ask to borrow hers. Should this fail, consider using a calves' liver. But first insert it into your woman's orifice so it's more like the genuine product. (Yo, I know that's sick but it's about the beauty of the ritual, y'all, ok! I'm just trying to keep it real.) Slice into small pieces.

3. Place the small pieces of placenta on top of the polenta. Mmmm, doesn't that smell good? Allow the heat of the polenta to warm the placenta pieces before chewing. Perhaps drizzle with some olive oil, some Parmesan and some freshly chopped parsley? It's a regular feast!








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Hooray to the progressive people like Wafa Sultan!
Boo to the Haters and Fanatics like that jerk in the video above!

Almost 10 percent of ‘straight’ men report gay sex ( the other 90% are too busy getting the down low )


Thomas: So many boys, so tittle time...


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As per the Free Dictionary: closet queen - a negative term for a homosexual man who chooses not to reveal his sexual orientation ( gay man, shirtlifter - a homosexual man )

Almost 10 percent of ‘straight’ men report gay sex
Doctors should ask about behavior, not just identity, study says


Closets evolving into aliens

Closets evolving into Retards


How a man labels his sexual orientation, even anonymously, may not correlate with his actual sexual behavior, a new study shows.

Almost 10 percent of New York City men who identify as straight have had sex with at least one man in the last year, according to a study published this month in the Annals of Internal Medicine.

The survey’s lead author said these men were given the opportunity to identify as gay or bisexual, but insisted on being classified as straight.

“There’s probably some stigma at play,” said Dr. Preeti Pathela of the New York City Health Department. “It’s really a sensitive issue for many men.” For more details of this report, please check this website.



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This sooo not true. I mean, where're the other 90% of straight men who visit the saunas, moviehouses, and others who were NOT forced to march there so they can bone some guy, or get blown vy a dude? Maybe, these guys were busy doing each other and reaffirming their manhood afterwards, so they missed the chance to answer the survey form. Of course, that's not really a problem for the gay boys who look for something casual, but I do feel sorry for the "beards" of these "heteros."

What's Goin' On Here?



Angelina Jolie couldn't fathom what Kanpe's doing. I love Japanese TV shows...

Is It Okay To Be Young and to be Hateful?

***Updated 03/01/07 Thanks to Kit for sending additional hilarious material for my blog, and posting a reply about it on my Multiply! You're an angel baby!




One of the good reads I know of is the Advocate, whether it's the paper magazine or the website, and Neal Broverman just wrote a somewhat disturbing article about Paris and Nikki Hilton abd their fandom. A few weeks ago, a tape surfaced showing the sisters dancing ( high on drugs? ) and using racist and homophobic words on some guy unseen in the tape. How come the world turned the other way when it quickly burned ( and rightfully, so! ) the likes of Gibson, Richards, Washington, and Hardaway? Is It Okay To Be Young and to be Hateful in Hollywood?

Here are some of what Neal wrote on his Advocate article, but it's best to read the complete article in the latest issue of the Advocate:

"The public’s hunger for pretty young things remains as insatiable as their idols’ appetites for sex, drugs, and liquid diets. It doesn't matter if they’re addled (Lindsay Lohan), unstable (Britney Spears), or dumb (Anna Nicole), America always wants more, and we’ll forgive them anything. We’ll even look the other way regarding homophobia and racism as long as they spew from the shapely glossed lips of Paris Hilton.




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If you've seen House of Wax, you must've seen Paris' celebrated death scene where she gets speared in the head (Yay!). Here are more ways to off Paris Hilton in Horror B-Movies:















Paris Hilton’s far-from-enlightened views on minorities came to light in February when a grainy tape was leaked to YouTube of the heiress unleashing nasty epithets at a party. While she and sister Nicky were dancing to Biggie Smalls, Hilton said we “are like two [n words].” Elsewhere, both sisters used the f word to refer to various men. Surprisingly, the story didn’t make waves—typically any dumb Paris tale is news. The tape was a tiny blip on Hilton's press reel rather than a scandal because only the blogosphere seemed interested; the mainstream media didn’t touch it. The whole thing died quicker than the heiresses’s album...


The outpouring of Paris Hilton coverage actually makes it easy to believe that she, with her sheltered, privileged existence, would utter such inanity. “That's probably why no one's picked it up, because we expect this from her,” a friend said. Maybe, but I’m more inclined to expect Hilton to think London is in France and our president is George Clooney than express a deep contempt for minorities. The way I see it, naïveté is a misdemeanor and hatred a felony. In our demented world little girls idolize Hilton and all that she stands for. Girls and quite a few gay boys (remember that Out cover?) look at this living Bratz doll and pray for her life of surface pleasure and male attention. Now hatred is rolled into that desirable lifestyle.

It seems Hilton is simply too pretty, thin, rich, and, most important, lucrative to be barred from the place she loves most—the spotlight. She's been caught having sex on camera, driving while drunk, getting high in a car, gleefully ripping her peers to shreds, voicing her hateful take on minorities, and nothing has dimmed her marketability. Perhaps the only thing she can do to make her name unprintable in respectable publications is get old."






Japanese Paris Hilton Doll Yep, that looks like Paris alright.
Japanese Anime Doll of pantyless Paris Hilton with Accessories like Crabs Down There


If you hate Paris La Puta Hilton, then you're not alone and you're in good company.

Former child star Shirley Temple Black has some very grown-up criticism of Paris Hilton. The 77-year-old former curly and True Hollywood Icon and Actress topped cutie has blasted Hilton, saying that those like the partying heiress are “stealing the thunder from really talented actors who have learnt their craft.”

“She just shops and turns up to parties,” adds legendary Actress ( I'm using Actress with a capital 'A' to distinguish the talented deserving ones from the dumb, pretty ones with no talent ) Shirley MacLaine while promoting her film “In Her Shoes.” “So she wears pink and has blonde hair and suddenly she calls herself not a starlet or an ingénue — no, according to Paris, she is a movie star!”

Austrians hate her, too, and pelted her with cigarettes a few weeks ago ( too bad nobody doused her with gasoline beforehand ).

Even the staff of the Hilton hotels have no love for her. They wouldn't give her a discount when she tried to reserve a room for herself ( on air , while she was a guest in a radio talk show ). Ha!



It's EASY to enter Paris.

For more happy Paris-bashing, try going to Spoiled Pigeon , a website for those who can't stand the materialistic socialite yotch. Here are some of the funny comments on their website:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paris is just a stupid, show-off whore. All she does is just flaunt her fugly, thin body who think she's dead-drop gorgeous. NOT! I saw Simple Life's few first episodes. Hated it and refused to watch the rest ever since. I wonder why people watch this show. This show is probably one fo the STUPIEST shows I've ever known on this earth! (Well, excluding Nicole as I find her not to be bad and I hope to god that she'll be more successful than Paris in a long run!) - Dawn

*Shoots Paris* - Jen

Thankyou so much for making a Paris Hilton Hatelisting...hehe, someone, kill her!!! ^.^ - Sky

I think the bitch looks like a cheap impersonation of barbie doll or blow up sex toy - JB

God I hate Paris Hilton! She's ONLY famous because of her last name. She cant act, sing or model so basically shes good for...nothing. Shes a Hollywood whore. - Cory

Jesus if your up there, and can hear this please please please give this stupid bitch CANCER. I could see it now a new reality show "Watch Paris Die Slowly in Pain" If I had one wish it would be to inject myself with A.I.D.S. and rape this bitch. Amen - Jungle Joey

There is no escaping this attention whore!! You can run, you can hide, but that waste of space will always find a forum for her stupidity and overall grotesqueness. Pay no attention to her and she will just go away. But unfortunately we are surrounded by morons who still think she has merit (for what I have no idea). - Goody

she has absolutely No reason for being a celebrity. Skanky whore - Pricilla

Paris is just so damned annoying! And her little wannabes popping up all over the world is almost even more annoying ~ Ness =)

Jake G's Wish



Jake badly wanted to play Effie, huh? He's still disturbingly hot in that dress, I'd do him in it.



Free Myspace Pictures from drewpydraws

Top 10 'Out of Office' Replies


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My previous post was kinds too sad, let me brighten my blog with something "Evangeline" sent me. Brightened up my day...

Top 10 'Out of Office' Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if
I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. Ang daming tatamaan nito!!!


2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you. Kilala ko to!


3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
removed so that I may be promoted to management. Panalo!


4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
send me until I return from my holidays. Please be patient and your mail
will be deleted in the order it was received. Yotch!


5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged
$5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your
message. Okay lang wala nang laman ang ATM ko, napunta sa CO-OP...

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and
try sending again. May mga tangang maniniwala dito...


7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system.You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply
in approximately 19 weeks. Eh at least nag-re-reply...


8. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
your PC for my response. "Are you there, Stupid?" "What do you mean?"


9. I've run away to join a different circus. A Well-Paying Circus, dagdag ko lang...

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of
'Steve'. Okay, pero ang Adam's Apple mo kasing laki pa rin ng Fuji apple; baka pwede mong mademanda si Doc for malpractice...

Holy Cocksucker! Straight Therapy Works ( yeah right )!!!


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Ted Haggard's "friend," was interviewed on MSNBC recently and offers up this tidbit about Ted's rapid reversal:

Q; He says he went in for 3 weeks of intense counseling and now he's completely heterosexual. Do you buy that?

Jones: That's the quickest therapy I've ever heard of. Y'know, it's hard for me to imagine someone who is performing oral sex and saying that he's straight. That just doesn't jive.





Haggard's Big Mouth is not just for spouting bigoted comments...

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Naughty Kitty Kat


Find more videos like this on It's a GAY-GAY-GAY world!!!

Wow...crown jewels!!!

What could the crown jewels be...a golden cock?


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The Prince of England and the Queen of Pop. There they were the other night, knocking 'em back like two olds school chums.

We're talking about Prince Harry and Madonna. The two were spotted this week at the oh so hip exclusive Mahiki Club in Mayfair.

Madge and Harry, along with Mr Madge - Guy Ritchie - spent two hours chatting each other up at the club. I hope Maddie and Mr. Madonna are successful in making him a less stiff royal prince open to new views.

Santa's Dead...


Find more videos like this on It's a GAY-GAY-GAY world!!!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

In The Eternal Words of Lindsay Lohan: Paris is a Cunt.


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Paris Hilton videos are like NFL broadcasts-- when the beyotch speaks, press the MUTE button.



I've always heard that money can't buy taste. Well I guess Paris is trying to prove that it can't buy brains, class, character, decency, common sense, modesty, personality or anything else for that matter... what a complete loser. At least she is an example to the world of what bad parenting and too much money can do to a person.




Paris Hilton during a Full Moon


Money obviously cannot buy class. I cannot imagine her parents disappointment in this child. She is a self-absorbed, disgusting piece of trash, who happens to have born into a wealthy and famous family. The real problem is that the public continues to extend her 15 minutes of fame, when we should simply boycott her and her no-talent, rude and immoral activities. If there is no venue, she might disappear. One could only hope...


Oh well, let's have one of her hated rivals, fellow white trash Lindsay Lohan, have the last word:




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