Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other

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"Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other" (1981) is "the famous gay cowboy song" by Latin country musician Ned Sublette, whose music features a "lilting West Texas waltz feel" and whose lyrics satirize the stereotypes associated with cowboys and gay men. For example, the lyrics relate western wear to the leather subculture with the line, "What did you think all them saddles and boots was about?"

Country musician Willie Nelson's cover (iTunes single February 14, 2006) is the first gay-themed mainstream country song by a major artist. The song has also been recorded and released by Sublette (GPS: Life is a Killer 1982), Canadian alternative country band Lost Dakotas, and queercore band Pansy Division.


Sublette says the song is based on his experiences growing up in Portales, N.M.: "I sat down at the piano and... remembered what it felt like to feel different as a teenager, and the culture at that time, and I started to put those two things together and the song wrote itself". The song was written during the Urban Cowboy fad while living with his wife in Manhattan next to a gay country bar on Christopher Street called Boots and Saddles. He explains "Gay life in 1981 was very vibrant in those days. It was part of the culture of the city and cowboy imagery is a part of gay iconography." He wrote the song with Nelson's voice in mind: "I was at the beginning of my songwriting career... and used to like writing songs for my favorite voices. I've been a Willie fan since the '60s."

As stated above, Sublette is acquainted with gay culture and the song is gay-friendly despite using what Ann Northrop of Gay USA describes as "the language of thirty years ago." For example, the lyrics, "Well small town don't like it when somebody falls between sexes" and, "Well I believe in my soul that inside every man there's a feminine / And inside every lady there's a deep manly voice loud and clear" display now marginal views about gender and sexuality (see Havelock Ellis' Sexual Inversion). Other lyrics, however, maintain currency; for example, the lines "A cowboy may brag about things that he does with his women, / But the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer" suggest criticism of the closet and small town bigotry.

Willie Nelson himself described the release in a prepared statement: "The song's been in the closet for 20 years. The timing's right for it to come out. I'm just opening the door." The song's release was encouraged by the coming out of his friend and tour manager of thirty years, David Anderson, two years ago. Says Anderson: "This song obviously has special meaning to me in more ways than one. I want people to know more than anything — gay, straight, whatever — just how cool Willie is and ... his way of thinking, his tolerance, everything about him."




Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other Lyrics



There's many a strange impulse out on the plains of West Texas;
There's many a young boy who feels things he don't comprehend.
Well small town don't like it when somebody falls between sexes,
No, small town don't like it when a cowboy has feelings for men.

Well I believe in my soul that inside every man there's a feminine,
And inside every lady there's a deep manly voice loud and clear.
Well, a cowboy may brag about things that he does with his women,
But the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer.

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other —
What did you think those saddles and boots was about?
There's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels towards his
brother,
Inside every cowboy there's a lady who'd love to slip out.

Ten men for each woman was the rule way back when on the prairie,
And somehow those cowboys must have kept themselves warm late at night.
Cowboys are famous for getting riled up about fairies,
But I'll tell you the reason a big strong man gets so uptight:

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other —
That's why they wear leather, and Levi's and belts buckled tight.
There's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels towards his
brother;
There's many a cowboy who's more like a lady at night.

Well there's always somebody who says what the others just whisper,
And mostly that someone's the first one to get shot down dead:
When you talk to a cowboy don't treat him like he was a sister
Don't mess with the lady that's sleepin' in each cowboy's head.

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other —
Even though they take speed and drive pickups and shoot their big guns;
There's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels towards his
brother;
There's many a cowboy who keeps quiet about things he's done.


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